Friday, April 17, 2009

Crank 2: High Voltage

Genre - Action
Year Released - 2009
Running Time - 96 minutes
Rated R for frenetic, strong, bloody violence, crude and graphic sexual content, nudity, and pervasive language
Directed by Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor (both of whom directed the 1st Crank)
Written by Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor (both of whom wrote the 1st Crank, as well as Pathology, and the upcoming Jonah Hex)

Cast Includes:
Jason Statham - returning as Chev Chelios (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, The Transporter films, etc)
Amy Smart - returning as Eve (The Butterfly Effect, Varsity Blues, Just Friends, Mirrors, etc)
Dwight Yoakham - returning as Doc Miles (Red Rock West, Sling Blade, Panic Room, Four Christmases)
Efren Ramirez - Kaylo from the 1st Crank (he also played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite)
Reno Wilson - returning as Orlando (from the 1st Crank)
Bai Ling (The Crow and Shaolin Soccer)
Corey Haim (The Lost Boys, Silver Bullet)

Also, there are appearances by:
David Carradine [Kwai Chang Caine from Kung Fu]
John de Lancie [Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation]
Keith "Dean of Mean" Jardine [a UFC fighter]
Chester Bennington [from Linkin Park]
Maynard James Keenan [from Tool]
there may have been others as well, that I may have missed. . .

Rating: 5 Skulls

Plot Summary:
After surviving the brush (?) with death that ended the first Crank film, top assassin Chev Chelios returns in this action-packed (!) sequel to track down a ruthless Chinese mobster who has stolen his most prized possession: his heart.

As the talented hit man scours Los Angeles for his enemy, he must continually jolt the mechanical ticker that beats within his chest - otherwise, he's dead.

When I was younger, I remember how charged I would be after watching Bruce Lee, Van Damme, or Seagal's martial art flicks - I would walk out of the theatre feeling pumped, ready to take on anyone - that is how I felt after the 1st Crank, and that is how I am feeling now, after this one! :-)

Crank 2 picks up EXACTLY where Crank ended - Chelios falls from the helicopter, bounces off a car, and hits the pavement. . .

If you think that you had to suspend your disbelief during the 1st Crank, you haven't seen anything yet! This film goes so far over-the-top that it's ridiculous, but that is the fun of these two films. I LOVED the 1st one - I saw it twice in the theatre and I bought it the day it was released on DVD. I will be doing the same with this one!

What was up with the Godzilla style fight sequence?!?

There are sooooo many things that I could mention - for example, the guy who had a shotgun barrel shoved up his... I'll leave that one to your imagination, or how about the awesome gunfight that took place in the middle of a strip club, where a stripper gets shot through her breast and the silicone starts spurting out [right before this scene took place, there was also an awesome shot of a guy's elbow getting chopped off!]

Even the circumstances are subject to the extreme - for example, rather than just asking folks for a ride to his destination, instead Chelios asks them to "give him a jump" [the scene, in the trailer, where he clamps jumper cables to his nipple and tongue - way more fun than just asking for a ride!] ;-)

We also learn Doc Miles' reason for no longer being a legitimate doctor - it seems that he screwed up his wife's vaginal rejuvenation, while performing it in his basement. . .

Director's Neveldine & Taylor have topped everything from the 1st film. What about the 1st film's infamous sex scene, you ask? Oh yeah, this time around, Chelios & Eve get down and dirty [literally] in the middle of a horse track - during the race! [wait until you see the slow-motion horse jump that takes place - I was laughing out loud!] In fact, I was laughing out loud quite a bit during this movie, and it isn't even a comedy - it's just that much FUN!

Well, I could go on and on - Just go see this one for yourself! If you enjoyed the 1st one, then you will definitely enjoy this one - it bests the 1st one in pure outrageousness!
This may not be a legitimate "5 Skull" film, however I had to rate it that, just out of principal! :-)

Here's the Trailer:

I have to applaud Neveldine & Taylor for making a film that starts off from the very first second and doesn't let up [at all] until the credits are over with. [speaking of, make sure to stay until the very end of the credits as there are several outtakes, etc, including a hilarious one where one of the porn actresses [during a porn actor's strike - "no dough, no blow" etc goofs her line - very funny!]

I leave you with a question [for those who have already seen the film]
What do you think was in the cooler that Johnny Vang carried around?



Wings said...

Sounds pretty awesome. The first flick was something that was so unexpected to me, so now I am eager to see the sequel.

Great review!

Ryan Harvey said...

Honestly, I wasn't much of a fan of the first movie, but I like the idea of the film going completely over-the-top. And if there's is a Godzilla-style fight, you know I'll watch it. I'll stick it in the Netflix queue for later (trying to save money). Thanks for the enthusiastic review.

thebonebreaker said...

Wings, if you enjoyed the 1st one, then I do not see why you wouldn't enjoy this one as well ;-)
Let me know your thoughts, after you have seen it!

Ryan, Netflixing it is cool - especially since you were not a big fan of the 1st one. Still, it is something to see - and the Godzilla style fight came out of nowhere! :-)


iMike said...

I have to see this I loved the 1st one, wild as hell. Believe it or not though, my favorite role of Statham's was in Lock, Stock:)

thebonebreaker said...


Crank 2 is even way more wild than the 1st one! You'll love it! :-)

I enjoy Statham in pretty much everything that he does - Chelios is probably my favorite character of his, though we was great as Bacon in Lock & Stock...


the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

its odd but i think jason stathams best film so far is the one that everybody else would probably say is his worst, "ghosts of mars", for me it had that old indescribable cultish magic that all of john carpenters films seem to have.

thebonebreaker said...


I would say that Statham's worst is probably 'In the Name of the King' ;-)

I too actually enjoyed Ghost of Mars, where most seem not to. . .


the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said...

good to hear that you enjoyed "ghosts of mars", (i really was beginning to think that i was the only person in the world who appreciated the terrific unpretentious magnificence of that movie) but another interesting point is that i thought "in the name of the king" was quite a good film as well (in the middle of that film is a battle scene that is quite breathtaking of its kind and rivals anything in any of the lord of the rings movies) and i dont understand why people enjoy trashing uwe bolls films (to me he seems to be a little bit like a german john carpenter who makes straightforward entertainment oriented movies to provide people with a couple of hours of good fun), i even thought "house of the dead" was a good film, but again i know i am in a tiny minority. I`d like to hear your opinion with regards to why you think people love to trash uwe boll and his films so much, because whenever he makes a film the critics seem to delight in smashing him to smithereens (sometimes without even seeing the film first).

thebonebreaker said...


Comparing In the Name of the King to Lord of the Rings and Boll to Carpenter - you've gone too far man!! :-)

Re: House of the Dead - I HATED that film!!!

Why do folks trash Boll? I would say because he's an easy target - I have only seen a few of his films, however the ones that I have seen are terrible - though I have heard that Postal is his best [I have not yet seen that one for myself]

As for critics who trash films that they have never seen - I have no respect for them!


Bobby said...

First of all I too enjoyed GHOSTS OF MARS. Even saw it opening night when it was first released. Then it was gone the next week.

Secondly I loved CRANK 2 and I'm torn between that and OBSERVE AND REPORT as the best comedy I've seen so far this year.

Great review.

thebonebreaker said...


I have yet to see Observe & Report, though I am looking forward to when I do! :-)