Monday, January 19, 2009

Hell Ride

Genre - Biker Flick
Year Released - 2008
Running Time - 83 minutes
Directed by Larry Bishop
Written by Larry Bishop
Cast Includes:
Larry Bishop (Kill Bill)
Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill, Sin City, The Doors, Kill Me Again, etc)
Eric Balfour (Milo from 24 - he is also in the '03 Re-Make of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
Leonor Varela (Blade II)
Dennis Hopper (Red Rock West, True Romance, Blue Velvet, Knockaround Guys, Land of the Dead, etc)
Vinnie Jones (The Midnight Meat Train, Snatch, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels)
David Carradine (Kwai Chang Caine from the television series Kung Fu, Bill from Kill Bill, Frankenstein from Death Race 2000 - he was also the voice of Frankenstein, in last year's Re-Make, simply titled Death Race)

Rating: 2 Skulls

The 'Victors'
Plot Summary:
When a rival biker gang savagely murders his woman, Pistolero and his cohorts Commanche and The Gent round up the crew and take to the streets in search of some old-fashioned revenge.
Michael Madsen as The Gent
For those who may be unaware, this movie is "Presented By" Quentin Tarantino. . .
I can't help but to wonder if Larry Bishop didn't personally know Tarantino, if this movie would have ever been made/produced. [Not to mention the fact that every time I watch a film "presented by" Tarantino, I can't help but to think how much better the film would have been had Tarantino only directed it himself]

Leonor Varela as Nada

Another shot of Leonor Varela as Nada

The only reason that I even gave this film a 2nd Skull, is because of Leonor Varela - the film is worth watching, just for her alone. Otherwise, the film is just about bad blood between two biker gangs [and not even a good one at that] The story is convoluted and jumps back & forth, really not making a whole lot of sense. If you want to watch a good biker flick, I recommend Beyond the Law with Charlie Sheen [granted, it isn't in the vein of Hell Ride - it doesn't have the 70's biker exploitation feel to it, but it's a better film, from what I recall - It's been a long time since I've seen it - Charlie Sheen is a cop who goes undercover to infiltrate a biker gang, but from what I remember, it's a great flick!]

Here's the trailer for Hell Ride:

And, just because, here's one more pic of Leonor Varela [not from the movie] :-)



gotankgo said...

Thanks for the review. I enjoy a well done biker flick, but prefer the 60's and 70's style. Just re-watched Born Losers (1967) the other night. This sounds interesting enough to watch if it pops up on cable.

ECHOMAMA said...

I'm starting to see a trend here...a half naked, hot chick and you automatically get bumped up a scull? You are SO easy! Hmmmm...if I were the jealous type....

thebonebreaker said...


Key words being "if it pops up on cable" :-)


thebonebreaker said...


Just because a movie has a half-naked hot chick, that doesn't necessarily always mean a bump up in rating. . .
However, in this case, I made an exception for Varela's performance ;-)


the jaded viewer said...

I saw this too. Ehhh. What a big disappointment. Bikes. Beer. Booty and Babes. How could that not turn out good?

thebonebreaker said...


How could all that not turn out good?!? Mystery of the year. . .