Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Santa's Slay

I now have a new favorite holiday film! :-)

Genre - Horror/Comedy
Year Released - 2005
Running Time - 95 minutes
Directed by David Steiman (this is his directorial debut)
Written by David Steiman
Cast Includes:
Bill Goldberg (ex-WWF wrestler, ex-Elite XC commentator ~ he is also in Universal Soldier: The Return)
Robert Culp (Bill Maxwell from the 80's television show The Greatest American Hero)
Douglas Smith
Emile de Ravin (the alternate ending of this film alluded to the fact that she is in the television show Lost - I really need to start watching that show, as I've only heard great things! She is also in the 2006 Re-make of The Hills Have Eyes)

Rating: 5 Skulls

Plot Summary:
Jolly old Saint Nick isn't making a gift list this year - he's making a hit list, checking it twice, and unleashing his inner demon for an unforgettably terrifying Christmas.
A bet that Santa lost to an angel 1,000 years ago has expired, and now he's hell-bent on spreading some holiday fear.
As the big day approaches, only young Nicholas Yuleson and his grandfather can stop him.

This movie was an absolute blast to watch! During the first five minutes of the film, you know that you are in for a good time! Definitely Recommended!

At the very beginning of the film, a family is gathered for their Christmas dinner. [This family consists of James Caan, Rebecca Gayheart, Chris Kattan, Fran Drescher, as well as a few others that I may not have recognized] While they are bickering with one another, they are interrupted by Santa Claus (Bill Goldberg) who totally decimates the family! :-)

The film has a great premise as well. You see, in this film, Santa is Satan's only son [born of the virgin Erica] Through a stop-motion-animation sequence [like those old Christmas classics most of us grew up on] we see an angel descend from heaven, taking the form of a human. He approaches Santa, while ice fishing [in the North Pole, I presume] Knowing that Santa enjoys gambling, the angel creates a contest - the rules are simple - whoever can slide a rock closest to the ice hole, without the rock dropping in, wins. The bet: If Santa wins, the angel is thrown into Hell for an eternity of suffering. If the angel wins, Santa has to create a joyful holiday of cheerfulness & happiness, for 1,000 years. [Before Santa starts, he slaps his face a few times, which is hilarious, as Goldman used to do the same thing before his wrestling matches]
Well, I am sure that you can guess the outcome - the problem - the 1,000 years are up! :-)

This movie has everything going for it!

The writer & director, David Steiman, was Brett Ratner's [the director of the Rush Hour films, as well as X-Men 3] assistant for seven years. [Ratner produced this film]
Steiman came up with a whole "Viking feel" to Santa and his sleigh [which is pulled by a hell-deer, which is really a buffalo!] which really worked - I thought.

Santa's antagonists - young Nicholas and his grandfather [who reminded me of the grandfather from Lost Boys - I'm not really sure why, he just did] as well as Nicholas' girlfriend were perfect as well.

On top of the all-star cast, at the very beginning of the film, the movie also has Dave Thomas, [as a preacher who steals from his congregation and then spends the money at a strip club] Saul Rubinek [True Romance - he was also in Rush Hour 2 - and I have to plug the new television show Leverage, which is on TNT, on Tuesday evenings - he was in last week's 1st episode]
You will also recognize Tommy "tiny" Lister as the main prisoner on the ferry boat in The Dark Knight - he shows up as a gas station attendant in this film.

So, tuck the kiddies in bed and watch this one, before Christmas! :-)

Just in case I haven't convinced you yet - here's the trailer:

This movie is begging for a sequel to be made!
Perhaps since the Elite XC, [an MMA organization that went under, in October] which Goldberg was a commentator for, is no more - Goldberg will sign up for another one - he seemed to really be enjoying himself in this one! :-)

Also, be sure to watch all of the Special Features on the DVD - there are some good Deleted Scenes, as well as an Alternate Ending - which I thought was even better than the one used!
There are also some hilarious [easily found] Easter Eggs on the disc.

Let me leave you with what I thought was the funniest line in the film:
[after Nicholas discovers one of his grandfather's "inventions"] he tells his grandfather to "file that next to brown colored toilet paper, as a bad idea" HA!
Also, when Nicholas first sees the "Book of Claus" he asks if it is the Necronomicon! :-)

Enough - just go buy/rent this film. . .



Rev. Fred Phantom said...

This one is in my Netflix queue and I thought about doing a review of it myself. I was hoping it was like you said--I can't wait to check it out!

Bearded Weirdo Reviews said...

Awesome. I caught this one late night on cable and thought it was a riot. I didn't think I'd like it before I saw it, but it's definitely a fun li'l flick. I love the foreign DVD cover you posted in the review. I'm a sucker for foreign artwork for familiar movies. You probably noticed the French variant poster for Bad Taste I had in the review of that movie. I plan to try n' include foreign artwork in as many of my reviews as possible.

On a related note, I noticed that you said, in one of the sidebars on your page, that you don't know how to link each of your reviews individually, so instead you just have a list of all your reviews and the dates on which they were posted, so people can just use the Blog Archive thingy. May I make a suggestion? If you you to the Layout section of your blogspot "dashboard", then, in the Page Elements area, you can click the Add A Gadget button in the sidebar as shown. Select the Link List gadget, and just start adding links. It's easy, and you don't know how to use HTML. All you do is, in the gadget, there will be a little text box marked "new site name" and you just put your review title in there, and another box marked "new site URL" and, just right-click the header of the review blog you want to add, select the "copy link location" option from the drop-down menu that appears, right-click in the "new site URL" box and select "paste" and you're golden. You can even put the review in alphabetical order by selecting that option in the "sort" drop-down menu area. Remember to click the Add Link button, then the Save button, and bada bing, bada boom, instant linkable blog archive that I'm sure would make it much easier both for you and your readers.

Just a suggestion.

thebonebreaker said...


Definitely get it, and if you like it, do a "live review"! :-)


thebonebreaker said...


I appreciate your suggestion, and I agree that it would be MUCH easier, however reading your comment makes my head spin!
[I really am computer illierate!]

I am one of those types that are "visual" I guess - I will be seeing my family over the Holidays, and my brother-in-law works for Microsoft, so I am sure that he can show me how it's done!

Thanks for attempting to help though and I am glad you liked the movie, the review, and the art! :-)


Soiled Sinema said...

As I mentioned in my Silent Night, Deadly Night review, Santa's Slay is the best, and better, holiday film. Good review!

thebonebreaker said...

Thanks SS!

I shall wander over to your neck of the woods to read that review :-)


The Igloo Keeper... said...

James Caan?????

But yep, I'm convinced. Gorra get this for the festive period.

thebonebreaker said...

Yes, James Caan (though un-credited) is the father figure of the family that is annihilated in the beginning!

He also has some hysterical outtakes, which I belive were in one of the easter eggs.


Fred [The Wolf] said...

This one is at the top of my Netflix queue because I'm gonna review it sometime next week. I saw that clip with the family on YouTube and laughed my ass off. Right then and there, I knew I had to see this one. Great review and I'm sure we'll be sharing the same thoughts on this one. Nice to see Goldberg in a good film for a change.

thebonebreaker said...


I will bet money that you will enjoy this film! :-)

Can't wait to read your take on it!


Johnny said...

Santa's Slay is a fuckin masterpiece and it definetly needs a sequel!

Any fan of that flick is a friend of mine so consider me your newest follower!

thebonebreaker said...

Glad to have you on board Johnny, and I am glad to hear that you love Santa's Slay as much as I do!! :-)


FXguy said...


I caught this one when it first hit DVD a few years back, and the wife and I thought it was awesome.

Loved that all-star cast in the opening, and even funnier is the irony of a Jewish guy (Bill Goldberg) playing Santa!

The Rankin-Bass nod was spot-on, too!

What's next, Don't Open 'Til Christmas? Christmas Evil? Silent Night, Deadly Night? Actually, of the SNDN sequels, I did enjoy the one with Mickey Rooney, called The Toymaker"...

thebonebreaker said...

Glad you enjoyed the movie as well Bill!

I am done with Christmas movies for this year [how can the others compare to the awesomeness that is Santa's Slay?!?] :-)

I like Silent Night, Deadly Night though I have never seen any of the sequels [I didn't even know, until recently, that there are a total of 5!]
Christmas Evil was 'okay' for what it was trying to portray [the downward spiral of a man's insanity]

I have never seen Don't Open Till Christmas, though I have added that, Santa Claws, and I even went ahead and [somewhat worriedly] added Gingerdead Man, for next year's viweing pleasure! :-)

FXguy said...

Oh, no.

Please tell me you aren't going to watch either Santa Claws or GingerDead Man.

See my old Cheesebrothers review of Santa Claws at:

And don't get me started on GingerDead Man. One of the worst Full Movies ever - and that's saying something! I know there's a sequel out, but I don't dare yet, until I fully recover from the first one. This may take a few years more.

thebonebreaker said...


That was a great review of Santa Claws! :-)

Unfortunately, there are not a whole lot of Christmas Horror movies [that I am aware of] out there, so I will view what is available - good or very, very bad. :-)