Double Header: The Garbage Man & The Kill Crew

Today I bring to your attention two books written by author Joseph D'Lacey - The Garbage Man [available now] and The Kill Crew [which will be available in August!]

Genre - Horror

Year Published - 2009 (Published by Bloody Books - an imprint of Beautiful Books Limited)

Length - 345 pages

Written by Joseph D'Lacey

Rating: 3 Skulls

Plot Summary:

From the author of Meat comes a very powerful second novel, this time tackling the issue of the environment and landfill sites. One man, a loner, makes regular visits to a landfill site - an oozing, filthy dump situated perilously close to a local town. A link is formed between the man and the landfill, creating a monstrous outcome: the landfill takes on life. Out of the waste of human society comes a thing, and its enemy is human.

Review:

If you read my 'Bone Breaker Awards', from last year, then you may remember that I gave Meat the award for the Most Memorable Novel of last year. That is the thing about D'Lacey - he is a very intellectual writer who does more than just entertain - he makes you think as well, and that is always a bonus, in any novel!

The Garbage Man wasn't supposed to be released until May 7th, however Mr. D'Lacey e-mailed me, last week, informing me that The Garbage Man is available now! [in the same e-mail, he attached his upcoming novella, which I read over the weekend - hence this "double header"]

Now, I hate to compare two novels, but for an author's 1st novel and his 2nd, there is always going to be comparisons. I loved Meat, and I was curious as to how D'Lacey's next novel would compare to it. To be completely honest, I did not enjoy The Garbage Man as much as I did Meat - I am not saying that The Garbage Man isn't an enjoyable read, it is, it just isn't as powerful [to me] as Meat.

I think that the problem lies in the fact that the book centers around creatures that are ultimately created out of our garbage and I just had difficulty placing myself into this reality. Still, D'Lacey has actually created some pretty terrifying creatures [my favorite being the centipede] You see, the creatures create themselves from whatever waste we dispose of and whatever they feed on becomes a part of them, helping them to grow stronger and faster [for instance, the centipede had legs that were made up of severed fingers and it's teeth were rows of knives] While not as good as Meat, The Garbage Man is still an enjoyable read and for what it is, it does not disappoint.

Let me leave you with my favorite line in the book: "Her closed eyes are two pregnant bellies in which twin eye-fetuses kick" How awesome is that line?!? Another cool thing, I thought, was one of the character's dogs were named Ozzy & Lemmy :-) Also, for any zombie fans out there, one of the characters is an avid video game player and there is a zombie game [Revenant Apocalypse] that he plays where he wields a katana - very cool - especially since he utilizes the game play when the garbage creatures start attacking. . .

On to The Kill Crew:

Genre - Horror

Year Published - 2009 (Published by Stonegarden.net Publishing)

Length - 77 pages

Written by Joseph D'Lacey

Rating: 4 Skulls

Review:

Set in a post apocalyptic society, The Kill Crew is the story of a group of survivors - primarily, the main character, Sheri, her 'not-really' boyfriend Ike, and a young girl by the name of Trixie.

The story is told in a 1st person narrative, from the viewpoint of Sheri.

After what is called The Long Silence - after which every car, watch, phone, etc has stopped working [Was the cause some sort of electro-magnetic bomb? No one knows for sure] - people have begun to change. While not exactly zombies, the story runs parallel with the zombie theme.

In The Kill Crew, the "zombies" are called Commuters, and similar to Matheson's I Am Legend, the commuters come out only at night. [Was it something in the water, a chemical, or some aspect of nature that has caused normal people to change into commuters? Again, no one knows for sure] Not everyone was affected though. About 200 survivors have walled themselves into what they call The Station, which consists of a city block of shops, apartments, 2 gun shops, 3 mini markets, 2 restaurants, and a wholesale warehouse... Every night a lottery is held and a group of survivors, known as "Crewers" head out beyond their walls to kill the commuters. [they say that if they kill 20 - 50 commuters a night, they will be 'crewing' for the next 20 - 30 years!]

Sheri is one of the best there is at 'crewing' - she carries two pump-action shotguns [named Kane & Abel] and a snub nose .38 named the paramedic] While her and Trixie [a young girl she has taken under her wing] are out "shopping" for supplies, during the day - when it's safe, Ike asks if he can tag along. While Sheri & Trixie are inside a store, Ike finds a vehicle that is still working - the three also discover that the commuters are evolving - these two things change the story drastically.

In The Kill Crew, D'Lacey has created some great characters, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if The Long Silence came about due to some sort of ecological unbalancing.

As you can tell by the length of the story, this one is really just a novella, though I sincerely hope that D'Lacey plans to one day go back to it and expand upon it, as it is an awesome read! The 77 pages fly by and only leave you wanting way more!

The Kill Crew is D'Lacey's 1st book that is actually going to be published in America, and it is due out in paperback, on August 10th, so mark your calendars now!

Jason

Crank 2: High Voltage

Genre - Action
Year Released - 2009
Running Time - 96 minutes
Rated R for frenetic, strong, bloody violence, crude and graphic sexual content, nudity, and pervasive language
Directed by Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor (both of whom directed the 1st Crank)
Written by Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor (both of whom wrote the 1st Crank, as well as Pathology, and the upcoming Jonah Hex)


Cast Includes:
Jason Statham - returning as Chev Chelios (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, The Transporter films, etc)
Amy Smart - returning as Eve (The Butterfly Effect, Varsity Blues, Just Friends, Mirrors, etc)
Dwight Yoakham - returning as Doc Miles (Red Rock West, Sling Blade, Panic Room, Four Christmases)
Efren Ramirez - Kaylo from the 1st Crank (he also played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite)
Reno Wilson - returning as Orlando (from the 1st Crank)
Bai Ling (The Crow and Shaolin Soccer)
Corey Haim (The Lost Boys, Silver Bullet)


Also, there are appearances by:
David Carradine [Kwai Chang Caine from Kung Fu]
John de Lancie [Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation]
Keith "Dean of Mean" Jardine [a UFC fighter]
Chester Bennington [from Linkin Park]
Maynard James Keenan [from Tool]
there may have been others as well, that I may have missed. . .


Rating: 5 Skulls

Plot Summary:
After surviving the brush (?) with death that ended the first Crank film, top assassin Chev Chelios returns in this action-packed (!) sequel to track down a ruthless Chinese mobster who has stolen his most prized possession: his heart.

As the talented hit man scours Los Angeles for his enemy, he must continually jolt the mechanical ticker that beats within his chest - otherwise, he's dead.


Review:
When I was younger, I remember how charged I would be after watching Bruce Lee, Van Damme, or Seagal's martial art flicks - I would walk out of the theatre feeling pumped, ready to take on anyone - that is how I felt after the 1st Crank, and that is how I am feeling now, after this one! :-)

Crank 2 picks up EXACTLY where Crank ended - Chelios falls from the helicopter, bounces off a car, and hits the pavement. . .

If you think that you had to suspend your disbelief during the 1st Crank, you haven't seen anything yet! This film goes so far over-the-top that it's ridiculous, but that is the fun of these two films. I LOVED the 1st one - I saw it twice in the theatre and I bought it the day it was released on DVD. I will be doing the same with this one!

What was up with the Godzilla style fight sequence?!?

There are sooooo many things that I could mention - for example, the guy who had a shotgun barrel shoved up his... I'll leave that one to your imagination, or how about the awesome gunfight that took place in the middle of a strip club, where a stripper gets shot through her breast and the silicone starts spurting out [right before this scene took place, there was also an awesome shot of a guy's elbow getting chopped off!]

Even the circumstances are subject to the extreme - for example, rather than just asking folks for a ride to his destination, instead Chelios asks them to "give him a jump" [the scene, in the trailer, where he clamps jumper cables to his nipple and tongue - way more fun than just asking for a ride!] ;-)

We also learn Doc Miles' reason for no longer being a legitimate doctor - it seems that he screwed up his wife's vaginal rejuvenation, while performing it in his basement. . .

Director's Neveldine & Taylor have topped everything from the 1st film. What about the 1st film's infamous sex scene, you ask? Oh yeah, this time around, Chelios & Eve get down and dirty [literally] in the middle of a horse track - during the race! [wait until you see the slow-motion horse jump that takes place - I was laughing out loud!] In fact, I was laughing out loud quite a bit during this movie, and it isn't even a comedy - it's just that much FUN!

Well, I could go on and on - Just go see this one for yourself! If you enjoyed the 1st one, then you will definitely enjoy this one - it bests the 1st one in pure outrageousness!

This may not be a legitimate "5 Skull" film, however I had to rate it that, just out of principal! :-)

Here's the Trailer:


I have to applaud Neveldine & Taylor for making a film that starts off from the very first second and doesn't let up [at all] until the credits are over with. [speaking of, make sure to stay until the very end of the credits as there are several outtakes, etc, including a hilarious one where one of the porn actresses [during a porn actor's strike - "no dough, no blow" etc goofs her line - very funny!]

I leave you with a question [for those who have already seen the film]

What do you think was in the cooler that Johnny Vang carried around?

Jason

The Spirit

Genre - Action/Comic Book

Year Released - 2008

Running Time - 108 minutes

Directed by Frank Miller [the comic book writer/artist turned director - he also co-directed Sin City and is going to be co-directing Sin City 2 (due in 2010) and Sin City 3 (due in 2011) as well]

Written by Frank Miller (whose most popular comics include 300 and Sin City - he also wrote the screenplays for Robocop 2 & 3)

*Based on the 1940's newspaper comic strip written by Will Eisner

Cast Includes:

Gabriel Macht as The Spirit (Behind Enemy Lines)

Samuel L. Jackson as The Octopus (Pulp Fiction, The Negotiator, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Snakes on a Plane, Unbreakable, etc, etc)

Eva Mendes as Sand Seraf (Urban Legends: Final Cut, Children of the Corn V, Ghost Rider)

Scarlett Johansson as Silken Floss (Eight Legged Freaks, Ghost World, In Good Company, The Island)

Dan Lauria as Commissioner Dolan (from the television series The Wonder Years)

Sarah Paulson as Ellen, the Commissioner's daughter (from the television series American Gothic)

Louis Lombardi as Pathos... the Octopus' cloned henchmen (Edgar from 24 - he is also in The Usual Suspects)

Stana Katic as Rookie Morgenstern (The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice)

Paz Vega as the assassin Paris (Lucia from Sex and Lucia)

Jaime King as Lorelei the Angel of Death (Sin City, The Tripper, the '09 re-make of My Bloody Valentine)

Rating: 3 Skulls

Plot Summary:

After rookie Central City cop Denny Colt is murdered, he's mysteriously reborn as masked super hero The Spirit. Setting out to rid the streets of crime, he finds his arch nemesis in The Octopus, whose quest for immortality imperils the entire city.

Review:

First, let it be known that I have never previously read any of The Spirit comic strips, nor was I familiar with the characters. Secondly, keep in mind that this is the first 'comic book adaptation' that I've watched since watching phenomenal Watchmen.

With that said, I don't really know what to think of this film, other than the obvious fact that it tries too hard to be like Sin City. Why? Why didn't the filmmakers give this film its own uniqueness?

Also, I am not sure if it was intentional or not, but The Spirit came across as way too goofy. The film did not take itself seriously, at all. The characters were silly and over-the-top.

Even with all of that, I still found myself enjoying the film, enough to give it the 3 Skull rating. However, especially after watching the extremely violent alternate storyboard ending, I definitely feel that this film would have been a vast improvement, had the filmmakers gone the dark, edgier route.

Still, if you are a fan of comic books or comic book movies in general, the film is at least worth checking out. [I have a feeling that when I go back to give this one a second look, I will enjoy it more]

Here's the trailer:


Also, here are some more of the film's posters, for your enjoyment:

Jason

Splinter

Genre - Horror
Year Released - 2008
Running Time - 82 minutes
Directed by Toby Wilkins
Written by Toby Wilkins, Kai Barry, and Ian Shorr
Cast Includes:
Jill Wagner (Blade: The Series)
Paulo Costenzo (40 Days and 40 Nights)
Shea Whigham (Tigerland)
Rachel Kerbs


Rating: 5 Skulls


Plot Summary:
Kidnapped by an escaped convict and his young accomplice, Seth Belzer and Polly Watt are thrust into the fight of their lives when the four of them become the prey of a bloodthirsty splinter parasite.

Trapped inside an abandoned gas station, the foursome is forced to band together to thwart the monster's vicious attacks and make it out alive.

Review:

Finally, a film that has lived up to its hype! [If you are already familiar with this film, then everything that you have already heard about it is absolutely true! This movie rocks!!

The film starts off at a gas station, where the attendant is suddenly attacked by what looks like some sort of bizarre animal. . .

Jump to Seth & Polly, a couple setting up their campsite so that they can have "anniversary sex under the stars". After Seth breaks one of the tent poles, the couple decides to head to a motel, unaware that just down the road an escaped convict [Farell] and his girlfriend [Lacey - who is in the midst of withdrawals] have just dumped their truck and belongings. . .

When Seth and Polly cross paths with Farell & Lacey, Farell hijacks their vehicle. Forcing Polly to drive, she then runs over 'something' [the animal/attacker from the beginning of the film] and blows a tire. While changing the tire, Farell gets a splinter in his finger from whatever it was that punctured the tire. Once again back on the road, the four then have engine trouble, which places them at the above mentioned gas station. . .

That is all you're going to get from me on this one - just buy this film [it is well worth it, especially since it has a ton of special features!]

I really liked Jill Wagner and Paulo Costenzo [Polly & Seth] in this one. I thought that they had great chemistry together. I also liked the fact that Polly was written as such a strong-willed/independent woman [reminded me of my wife]

As for Toby Wilkins - I will definitely be keeping my eye on this guy!

Here's the trailer:


Jason

Shuttle

I hope that everyone had an enjoyable Easter. . . Today's review, I rented on a whim, more because Tony Curran is in it, and it actually turned out to be far better than I was expecting!

Genre - Thriller
Year Released - 2008
Running Time - 106 minutes
Directed by Edward Anderson (this is his directorial debut)
Written by Edward Anderson
Cast Includes:
Tony Curran (The Midnight Meat Train, Underworld: Evolution, and Blade II)
Peyton List, Cameron Goodman, Dave Power, James Snyder, and Allen Douglas

Rating: 4 Skulls


Plot Summary:
Hitching a ride on the airport shuttle seems like the safest option for weary friends Mel and Jules, who find themselves stranded late at night after flying back from a girls-only vacation in Mexico. That is, until their short drive home descends into a one-way trip to hell.

As captive passengers, they're now at the mercy of a terrifying driver with an unknown agenda and no exit in sight.

Review:
Like I mentioned above, I rented this one mainly because of the fact that it starred Tony Curran. Other than Curran, I had not heard of any of the other cast. I am happy to report that everyone was great in this movie and it was very well written.


Had it not been for two pretty glaring predictability factors, I would have given this film 5 Skulls. [I think that this one is worth owning, but that's just me] In fact, I doubt that there will be another film, this year, with a better ending!

I definitely recommend this one!

Here's the trailer:


Jason

Songs for the Gathering

This one is a music review - so, may I present the band's single, Rise, while you read the review :-)


Artist - Solarcade

Genre - Pop Rock

Year Released - 2009

Length - 25 minutes 29 seconds

Label - A & I Records

Song List:

Track 1 - Rise

Track 2 - My Weather of Love

Track 3 - Oceans to Oceans

Track 4 - Artshow

Track 5 - When She Comes [Redux]

Track 6 - A Warning Sign From A Half Moon

Bonus Track - Rise [A Thousand Seas Remix]

Review:

Solarcade is South African vocalist Paul Van and Texan guitarist Tony Pomilla.

A while back, the guitarist of the band - Tony, contacted me via e-mail. [He stated that he found my blog through a link found on Zack Snyder's website?!?] Tony mentioned that he liked my blog and enjoyed reading my reviews and then asked if I would be willing to review Solarcade's latest EP.

Even though Pop Rock is not the style of music that I normally prefer to listen to [I'm more Metal/Punk, with a little bit of Country thrown in for good measure] I of course said yes, especially since I love guitar!

Anyhow, Tony & Paul met while playing in other projects and they quickly found a magnetism in their songwriting. They have been the buzz of the underground indie scene since releasing their self produced debut, Aliens and Angels, in 2005. Since then, Solarcade has opened for Puddle of Mud, The Airborne Toxic Event, Louis XIV, The Electric Touch, and The Killers.

Also, their single Rise [top of the post] is going to be featured in the upcoming indie film The Things We Carry.

As for my personal opinion of Songs for the Gathering - if Pop Rock is your thing, then definitely check them out! Even though their music is not really my style, I still really enjoy the album - it is still in my truck, in fact. Their songs are catchy and you find yourself singing along.

Paul's vocals and Tony's guitar work perfectly together! Their music, together is very melodic.

Rise is probably my favorite, though I also really enjoy A Warning Sign From A Half Moon and Oceans to Oceans as they both have some excellent guitar work!

Artshow is a [far too brief] techno style instrumental and I also like the lyrics to When She Comes and My Weather of Love - I guess what I'm trying to say is that I enjoy the entire album! :-)

If you're interested, check out Solarcade's website at http://www.solarcademusic.com/

Jason

Castaways

Genre - Horror
Year Published - 2009 (Published by Leisure Books/Dorchester Publishing Co, Inc.)
Length - 280 pages
Written by Brian Keene

Rating: 5 Skulls

Plot Summary:
They came to the lush, deserted island to compete on a popular reality TV show. Each one hoped to be the last to leave. Now they're just hoping to stay alive.
It seems the island isn't deserted after all. Contestants and crew members are disappearing, but they aren't being eliminated by the game. They're being taken by the monstrous half-human creatures that live in the jungle.
The men will be slaughtered. The women will be kept alive as captives. Night is falling, the creatures are coming, and rescue is so far away. . .

Review:
In the Author's Note, Keene discusses his idea behind Castaways. It was originally written as a short story for In Laymon's Terms [an Anthology in tribute of my favorite horror author - the late, great Richard Laymon] *Note: In Laymon's Terms was conceived in late 2001 and has yet to see print! Arg!!

Anyhow, if you've read Laymon's "Beast House" series [The Cellar, Beast House, The Midnight Tour, and Friday Night in Beast House] Castaways is, in part, about the "beasts" from Laymon's series. You see, Keene's short story already appeared in Keene's short story collection Fear of Gravity and was a hit with his fans, who asked Keene to turn the short story into a full-length novel - and he obliged! [How cool is that?!?]

In the beginning of the novel, Keene establishes the main characters - we have:
Becka - a 22-year-old Penn State Graduate
Jerry - in his early 20's and owner of a video store in California
Stefen - a Welsh music producer out of Nashville
Jeff - the "pretty boy" - an Adventure Tour Guide in Colorado
Richard - a drummer from Kansas
Sal - a stock broker from Long Island
Pauline - a 41-year-old dancer/model and former NFL cheerleader from Tampa [she's the "airhead"]
Roberta - a 54-year-old librarian from New York
Troy - [my favorite character] a skinny, foul-mouthed, tattooed auto mechanic from Seattle [who brought his lucky Seahawk cap]
Raul - the black guy - an machine shop owner from Philadelphia
Ryan - a 21-year-old hairstylist from Los Angeles [yep, he's gay]
Shonette - the black girl - a 25-year-old single mother of two from Detroit, Michigan
Matthew - a 28-year-old loner from Pennsylvania

The above introductions all take place within Chapter One [and already, the "beasts" are watching. . .

We also meet some of the crew members of the show:
Mark - a mullet wearing gentlemen from Tennessee
Stuart - from New York
Jesse - from Florida
and the Host of the show, Roland Thompson

If you are a fan of the television show Survivor [I only watched the 2nd & 3rd seasons] this book reads exactly like the series! Keene's writing is such that immediately, you know who you like and who you don't.

When tropical cyclone Ivan starts heading towards the island where Castaways is taking place, members of the crew take off to the large freighter that is just offshore from the island, leaving the contestants and the three crew members who stayed behind to fend for themselves - not only against the coming storm, but from the "beasts" that they are yet to be made aware of. . .

This book is a page-turner. A super-fast read [I read it in only two days and I am by no means a fast reader - that would be my wife]

I have several books written by Keene, however the only ones that I have previously read are The Rising and City of the Dead [the best zombie novels ever written, in my opinion]

Whether you are already a fan of Keene or not, you should definitely read this novel, as it is excellent!

Jason